Last week, I went to the States with my lovely parents. I’ll share all the things we did and where we stayed without writing a novel. Let’s start!
Tag: Faith
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To the ones that made me feel like home for five days straight, that made me promise to never change who I am, that loved my sense of humour, that have golden and open hearts, that warmly welcomed us, that cook super well, that encouraged me to serve, that are bold in their faith, that were our second or third mothers to us, that have a height I look up to, that can sing, draw, and be talented like no one else, that are soft in their manners like doves, that are funnier than America’s best comedians, that share a passion for books, that are little innocent geniuses, that have the best semi-broken Arabic, that know how to read Arabic and Coptic (props to youuuuu), that are wannabe Montrealers, and that are amazing travelling companions… this article is for you.
Last week, I embarked on a short spiritual trip. I had no idea, not even the slightest clue on what to expect. No one told me what we were going to do, nor what to expect from a week at a monastery. I didn’t even know who from church was going to the trip. And you know what? Not knowing anything led to the best surprise ever.
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I’ve been planning to write so many blog posts since 2019 started, but I haven’t written a single thing! Blame it on the lack or waste of time, blame it on the millions of things I want to do, but can’t seem to (and that, you can blame it on the lack of courage, confidence, or just unexpected events, interrupted plans, etc.), and the list goes on and on… I can’t believe we’re already in May! It’s almost half a year, it’s almost summer, and it’s almost my birthday, and I don’t know how to feel at all. Actually, now that I’m sick, I can’t help but feel a kaleidoscope of emotions I can’t describe, yet one I thing I know is that I am extremely exhausted. My body has been begging me to slow down, but that’s the one thing I hate to do. I basically have to kill my body to rest.
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French translation follows
I hadn’t done this in a long time: laying down on the soft grass, looking up to the bright blue ceiling God created during the first days of Genesis.
Instead of taking pictures, I decided to take a break, breathe and pay attention to every detail.
I felt safe and calm and at peace. Not one thought came to mind as soon as I started focusing on nature, God’s perfect, organized beauty.
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How to accept having a broken hip, just like Jacob?
Honestly, I don’t know. I tried to make myself feel better by comparing myself to other people, but it made me feel so much worse. I was either envying people with perfectly amazing lives, or judging them without wanting to judge them, just to make sure I didn’t mess up too bad, or crossed the line. But the problem is that I mess up badly everyday. Otherwise, I wouldn’t feel like disappearing.
After comparing myself to others, I looked up stories of saints and prophets from the Bible. I did feel less alone, but that didn’t change anything. I still felt horrible because I didn’t and still don’t have their faith. Because I couldn’t accept my mistakes, I felt doomed, almost destined to be broken. (more…)
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Last week, after I was done work, I tried calling my parents, but none of them picked up the phone.
Then I thought of calling any of my friends, but I knew they wouldn’t pick up as well: blame it on the busy life.
But then again, they might not necessarily be busy. They might not be my friends after all.
And when those people don’t pick up, I usually call you because I know you will. You always have time for any of your loved ones.
But as I was starting to dial your number, I realized you won’t pick up the phone.
MARIA MAGDELEINA 